In this column I'd like to declare myself Emperor of the Security world. Don't worry, I won't force you to worship me as a god, nothing will be renamed in my honor, and no one will be forced to gather seashells (although my car does need a washing...). As for perversions, this is the Internet we're using here, so everyone's safe.
No, instead, I plan to rule as a benevolent dictator, trying to bring wisdom and reform to a troubled land. As your new emperor, these are my security decrees:
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